Before you read this, I’d like to say that this is not complete. Books have been filled about BDSM and safety.
I write here wat comes to mind… what are the most important issues (from my view).
Above all: THINK, communicate and be prepared.
Safety within BDSM / Bondage is one of the most talked about and most important theme’s. It is inherent to the things you do that are just that bit more exciting than other things that make it more of a risk attached. That’s the fun of it, wouldn’t you think?
Wrong….. but that’s my opinion. If you do this because the risks appeal to you, you’re in the wrong place.
Realise that, as a Dom or a sub, a few issues are potentially dangerous. I don;t want to scare everyone away right now by saying that it is all soo dangerous. But I would like to make a point that when you’re into BDSM, you’re dealing with people that could be damaged. Not only physically but also emotionally.
Writing the follwing piece I try to hand some “tools” with which you can “work”.
Safety is a broad issue and as far as I’m concerned it can be divided into 2 issues.
Practical safety. Meant to prevent physical damage.
Emotional safety. Meant to be sure evryone is feeling good in the situation (and that’s what it is all about, isn’t it?)
Emotional safety.
Maybe this sounds somewhat vague. I’ll try to describe what I mean.
In my opinion it isn’t smart to start a “session” when your not really feeling well when or you’re insecure.
Despite that it might occur that because of the intensity certain negative feelings will surface of which you didn’t know (anymore) they were even there. With that I mean negative experiences from the past. I don’t want to state that bondage is used as a therapy or something along those lines, but it might happen that someone “crashes” emotionally. Being bound must not be underestimated. It could also be that the sub is actually just too tired…. and “breaks” because of the intensity of the “play”.
At those moments it is important for the sub to know that she has someone she can totally trust. Someone she can rely on. It is clear that in those situations the one who ties, takes care that the sub is released. That she is comforted en they talk.
If you don’t want to meddle emotionally with someone, you should’t do any bondage, but that’s my opinion.
Maybe it isn’t necessary to say, but anyway: be patient. The Dominant should (be able to) have patience with his sub.
Practical safety.
After the above, maybe somewhat deep piece, attention for the practical sides.
First a few conditions should be met before starting anything.
Know your partner. Take care that you know the phyiscal limitations about the bound one….
The environment where bondage takes place shouldn’t be overly warm or cold.
Be sure that you can trust your rope and/or cuffs anmaybe other materials that you’re going to use. Convince yourself that your materials are safe.
Do not bind to tight around limbs. The blood supply could be jammed with all the horrible consequences to go with it.
The binding one (rigger) has a few leads from which he can recognize that something could go wrong.
Regularly feel the hands of the sub. Are they cold and clammy? Something’s jammed.
Discolorisation of the skin or limbs.
For the one who’s tied, the same rules are valid. If your hands are feeling tingly or numb…… say it!!!
Before anything, for the Dominant counts: be alert!!! However fun it is. You’re responsible for a large part. Especially if you go a bit further than to tie her to four corners of the bed….. binding her standing or even hanging.
Then you’re talking about serious injury you can cause when you’re not alert, not prepared en not watching.
NEVER leave your sub alone bound!
You might think all of the above maybe sounds a bit negative or so and too serious. I just want to say that it isn’t just a game when you go a bit further.
If you consider al above mentioned, you can enjoy it very much together…
This piece will (have to) be contiously expanded, the more I learn myself (you’re never done learning).
Marrow